Unk
Unk +Nef in a nutshell [emphasis on nuts]
WHY IS THERE AN UNK PAGE???
You are about to experience the reason why I had been absent from updating this website for several months… Here’s the story in a day-to-day format as it unfolded [and as I originally documented it on Facebook with additional comments by Uncle Tom].
“In November of 2019, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, my friends left for a 3 week cruise from Los Angeles to New York via the Panama Canal. For most of their trips, I generally will watch their house for them. If the trip is short, I often stay at the house with their dog. “Miss Kiss”, a long-haired daschand, and I monitor the activity of an unending parade of iguanas that access the back yard from the river. “Kissee” spots them from her perch on the back of the sofa in the family room and comes running to me to get me to go chase them. She doesn’t really chase them, but she will cause them to scatter by charging into the yard and letting them know it is her yard. She left the chasing to whichever human she brought with her. The iguanas range from a couple of feet to four or five feet in length. The larger ones are more Jurassic Park looking. They are a bit like chewing lawn mowers. They do eat grass, but they love tropical plants.
This time it was just me checking on the house. Chasing them generally involves grabbing a pool pole on the way through the caged pool area, and often prodding the larger iguanas to jump back into the river and get away from the yard. Sometimes they need a nudge.
What follows is an ongoing narrative created by my nephew Rodney, with my italicized running commentary, as he followed the events which began on 12 November 2019.”
“How my Uncle Tom taught me not to chase iguanas”
might just have to be the title of my first book.
11.12.19, Day 1
“running with the iguanas”
On Tuesday afternoon, my Uncle Tom (lovingly referred to as Unk) literally fell while chasing iguanas out of the landscaping at his friends’ home where he was house sitting. As Unk tells it, “he was running with a pool pole in his hand” (like one tends to do when there are 15-20 iguanas eating all of the pretty flowers) and he tripped. He flipped across an upper tier of a boat dock, fell onto the lower deck below, and slammed into some cast iron patio furniture before skidding to a stop. Thank goddess the furniture was there or he would have actually ended up in the river. Of course all of that flipping and rolling took a toll on his body. Unbeknownst to Tom, he had just shattered his pelvis on the right side and actually impacted his femur up into his pelvic cavity. Prior to calling 911, he proceeded to use the pool pole as a crutch to hobble back to the house, lock the door, and turn on the alarm system.
It is at this point that I got the text telling me he was in the emergency room... with no nonstop flight options left for me to get there that evening, his first surgery to install a pin through his thigh to place the leg into traction would happen without my help. When I spoke to the surgeon, they were planning the next major surgery to repair the damage for later in the week once they had the femur pulled back out of the pelvis. I began making plans to get to southern Florida by the end of the week.
“This is probably one of the most frightening events of my life. The fall happened so quickly that I did not have a chance of trying to catch myself. A 64 year old, overweight male in sandals has no business running, period. I took out a chair on the upper deck, and another one on the lower dock. I must have closed my eyes (I don’t think I blacked out), because after all of the forward motion stopped, I opened my eyes and was looking down into the river water. I was also resting against a wrought-iron glider. I immediately knew that something was broken, but I didn’t know what. I figured it was my right leg since the pain was searing throughout.
In the confusion, pain and panic, I only knew that I had to get up, somehow get back to the pool enclosure, and into the house to lock it up, out the front and set the alarm system, all before I dialed 911. I used one of the chairs that I knocked over as a sort of “walker”, and the pool pole, which I was still clinging on to, became a “crutch”. By the time I hobbled back to the house, I was in a massive amount of pain. In retrospect, of course I realize that I could have pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed 911 from the dock, and allowed the emergency responders to lock up the house. The alarm system is on my phone, so I could have set the alarm before we headed for the hospital.
I dialed 911 from the front porch. They arrived within minutes, sirens blasting. The neighbors came running to see what was happening. The next door neighbors I knew from previous introductions, so I told them that the house was secure and I would be letting the owners know what was going on. I also assured them that the dog was not there.”
11.13.19, Day 2
“A sudden change of plans”
At about 10:00 am, Unk informed me that he was going into surgery at noon. Yep, that major surgery that was supposed to be Thursday or Friday at the earliest was now happening immediately. By 11:00 am, he had already gone into pre-op. By that time, He didn’t know that I had already booked the first nonstop flight I could get.
Pack a quick bag.
Uber ride to airport.
Nonstop Plane ride.
Uber ride to hospital.
“Yes, queue the waterworks! As you will read in the ongoing story, it doesn’t take much to turn on the faucets. I was so frightened and confused, and there was a great deal of pain. I don’t know how I could have managed this experience on my own. The medications had me loopy, and I’m not sure I was coherent enough to make any decision.”
I arrived at Broward Health Medical Center at 7:23 PM. I went straight to his room only to find that it was empty. Not knowing the hospital, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I finally found out that Unk was still in surgery. At 9:00 pm, there were only two people sitting in the Surgery waiting area; finally the surgeon came out and asked if there was anyone there for a patient named Mulligan. I jumped to my feet and exclaimed, “Yes, I am here!” The surgeon informed me that surgery had started late (after 4:00). More importantly, he said everything went very well; Unk now had 3 plates holding his pelvis back together. At 9:30 PM, Unk opened his eyes and saw me standing there next to him in the recovery room. His first words, “you got here fast!” Queue the waterworks*. At first I thought the tears were because he was in pain or that he was just happy to see me, but then I realized it was relief because he wasn’t going to do this alone anymore.
We finally got through post op and went back to his hospital room around midnight. Once he was settled (and over an hour of waiting for security to find his house/car keys), I hopped in another Uber from the hospital around 2:00 AM. My first stop was a 30 minute drive to the house where he fell to get Unk’s car (which was brand new and only had 120 or so miles on it). It was then another 20-30 minute drive before I walked in the door of Unk’s condo. Exhausted, but relieved to be here, I made up the guest bed and finally collapsed around 4:00 AM.
11.14.19, Day 3
“Baby Steps and Percocet”
With a few hours of sleep, I was headed back to the hospital. The theme of the day was “Baby Steps and Percocet”. It was on this day that he and I had to have some difficult discussions about a rehabilitation facility needing to occur post-hospital stay.
By the end of the day he was out of bed and sitting up in a chair.
We had more than Baby Steps. We had Progress! Thank goodness he also had Percocet.
“There was a moment here when I realized that Rodney was definitely feeling the stress of this event.
This particular “Come to Jesus” meeting (there were several) was dead serious. He said to me, “One thing you need to understand is that sooner or later, whether you like it or not, you will be coming to Indianapolis. It’s non-negotiable.”
11.15.19, Day 4
“Rehab Reconnaissance”
The doctors and nurses were actually talking about transferring Unk to a rehab facility, but we had to decide which one. Our Case Manager gave us a list of 5 options that were “acceptable” to our insurance provider; those that know me will understand that I’m never one to settle for just a few options. I did some quick research and had them check on another option that I thought was better- yep, after forcing our case manager to make a phone call, we found out it might work.
I then spent the afternoon driving from Rehab Center to Rehab Center to Rehab Center; our “top 3” became our “top two”. Once back at the hospital, our discussions narrowed it to the “top one”.
Unk was up several times during the day, we now had Rehab options, and we both called it an early evening.
Overall, a good day of moving forward.
“I’m not sure how anyone could have made even a simple decision with the medications and the confusion. It was only after I went and read Rod’s postings a couple of weeks after the fall that I realized how much I was not able to comprehend what was happening. Rod made excellent calculations and decisions on my behalf. I know I would have chosen the rehab center close to my home, which turned out to be the worst of the lot.
Rod made sure that I landed in an acceptable location and facility.”
11.16.19, Day 5
“175 Starbucks stars in just 3 days”
It seems we are now just waiting on a response from our preferred facility (yes, it is the 6th rehab center that I had added to the original list of 5) before we can get discharged; our preferred Rehabilitation Center has to get authorization from insurance before we can transfer.
“Oh, you have no idea. Be very happy that there are no photos here. I could not, would not, pee in one of those plastic urinals, and bowel movements will not happen on a bedpan. My elimination system simply shut down. We tried, successfully, to use a catheter, but the staff was not fond of it. They were concerned about possible infection. They tried something called a “condom catheter” too. No, it did not work and it fell off every time. Go ahead; laugh! When I was able to get into the bathroom, they had me sitting on a “commode” which sits over the toilet. There is about a 4-5 inch gap between the commode and the toilet seat. My initial attempts had me peeing on the floor every time, and you have to go there to comprehend a nurse wiping your butt each time you have a bowel movement. I was mortified!”
That will now likely not occur until Monday morning.
Unk started the morning by walking (with his walker) all the way to his room door! He also made it into the bathroom to use a real toilet! I know these sound like little things to most people, but they’re huge steps in his recovery.
As an aside, the Starbucks in the hospital is very nice and opens out onto a lovely courtyard with palm trees and water features (I’ve spent some considerable time out there); the baristas now greet me by name when I walk in. I’ve gained 175 Starbucks stars so far this week, so I don’t even want to think how many calories that is... yikes.
I’ve also more than tripled the mileage on Unk’s new car... I’ve driven more than he probably would have in the next 6 months.
11.17.19, Day 6
“The Kardashian Ass”
Yes, I said it. It’s real. I don’t know if it’s the swelling or just his new pelvis, but my Unk now has a Kardashian ass- lol. He wanted a photo to see what the bandages looked like, so I snapped a side profile.
We also finally got his Op Report showing what was done during the surgery. We figured out that he doesn’t have just 3 plates in his pelvis; it’s actually 5 different plates (with a ton of screws). Just a warning-don’t get behind him at the airport. Although he is looking forward to the security pat downs...
We are both in good spirits today- his appetite is coming back.
11.18.19, Day 7
“Hanging out at the Hospital”
So it didn’t work out today. We thought for sure we would be moving to rehab today, but it just didn’t happen. We are still waiting on authorization from the insurance company, so it appears we get another day here in the hospital. Unk and I were both disappointed, but I’m happy to keep him here with this dedicated staff of nurses and doctors as long as possible.
He had a great workout with his Physical Therapist this morning. She got good movement and bending in his knee- working their way up to the hip...
Today’s topics of discussion ran the gambit, but funny highlights included:
“Gays of our Lives”- who knew I had so many gay ancestors! I love that Unk does genealogy to the nth degree. I’ve learned about Dotty the Hotty, Conrad the Kinky, and even a character or two now portrayed in the Broadway show Hamilton were part of our history (the “companion” of John Adams son was a Mulligan).
“Whose Sister is Crazier”- lol.*** No offense to our loving and beautiful sisters- you helped make us who we are... ...enough said.
Learning that “Peeing while standing up was much more successful.”
Overall, a good day- not what we expected, but we continue to heal and that is all that matters.
11.19.19 Day 8
“The Rise of the Iguana Tattoo”
We finally got to see the surgical incisions this morning- I counted 64 staples currently holding his ass together, so I thought the resulting scar would be the perfect “start” to a big iguana tattoo down his hip and thigh.
In my mind, it’s a very cool, brightly-colored iguana holding a crutch saying something like “I’ll break your hip, bitch!”
Yes, we may be going a bit stir crazy since we are STILL WAITING on the insurance company to release us!
Day 8 continued...
“All Dressed Up with No Place to Go”
Finally we have been cleared for transport!!! Of course they were supposed to be here about 90 minutes ago, but we are definitely ready to go.
Unk is all dressed up in the latest couture gown straight from the runways of Paris (Indiana)- looking absolutely radiant, his high fashion look tonight is about the fanciest I have seen him all week (which just means I finally got him to put on a pair of shorts to cover his junk).
We are ready to go.
“The “transport” from Broward Health to Wilton Rehab was an old, rickety, rusted out heap that was a former real ambulance. The gurney was very narrow and the attendants were struggling to lift my fat ass in and out of the vehicle. It rattled along Andrews Avenue. When we arrived (3 hours late), the facility was locked up. We went to the front, then to the back, then to the front. Banging on the door finally raised a response from a night nurse.
Rodney met us there, but somehow he was on the inside when we were still stewing on the outside.”
“What’s on my mind?
Gratitude & Love.
Thank you all for your warm wishes and hugs. It is all so humbling. This journey will take awhile, but it will also come to an end. What can I say about my nephew Rod that you folks haven’t already said.
I needed a hero in a dark moment, and one stepped in.
I can’t heap enough praise on him. How many of us are in a position where we can drop it all and go to the aid of friends/family? His response and subsequent patient advocacy was everything I needed to get through a tough moment. Love him! He has made this little road trip so much easier to navigate.
I am doing much better, and no, there will not be an iguana tattoo to cover the long scar along my hip and leg. I want nothing to do with iguanas ever again. They can ravage the whole property (they might have by now) and I’ll just look at them and go back to my business. The many emergency, hospital, rehab, doctors, nurses, housekeeping at both Broward Memorial Health and Wilton Manors Rehab have gotten good laughs over my story, and I’m happy to tell it. They have also been miracle workers who do an amazing job.
Finally, I am a very independent person, but sometimes our independence puts us out of touch with support systems. These past two weeks have shown that I have a huge support system that I didn’t even know I had. People that I barely know here have stepped up to offer assistance. My realtor came to visit me at rehab today. How awesome is that? The contractor who last worked on my kitchen called me this afternoon. What? It is such overwhelming support. Like Rod said in one note, we both can cry at a drop of the hat, and I have shed many tears over this. Just know that most of them are joyful tears. I truly am blessed by wonderful people. Thank you all. Stay tuned, because Rod will be back here on Saturday and I know he will be sending updates.”
“Yes, I do live by having a list. It might be OCD related, but if I don’t write it down, it doesn’t get addressed. While Rod was gone, I began thinking of things that needed to be addressed. I was also getting quite a few insurance claim notices in my email. From my own experience working in the healthcare industry, I knew I needed to pay close attention to those claims, and monitor the payments. Aside from that I had things I felt I needed, and things that needed to be covered back at the condo.”
11.23.19, Saturday Day 12B:
So after my super sappy “love fest” post about Unk and me, I figured I better get down to the nitty gritty reality of the chaos of our lives.
His incision is healing nicely. With all due respect and love, Unk has a large butt. It’s Kardashian, remember? (See Day 6) His incision is about a foot and a half long- hence the 66 staples holding all of that ass in. I’ve included a photo comparison of the amazing healing it is exhibiting over the past 5 days. Swelling is down. I’m still pushing for the iguana tattoo to play up the scar (similar to the photo included), but Unk is resisting. He may regret giving me medical power of attorney because I could just have him knocked out while we do it.
8 Hours or dead sleep-looks like this…
To even the playing field, I’m also including a “not so flattering” photo of myself after I woke up in Nashville on Friday morning. I literally crawled to the nespresso machine, made a cup of espresso, then snapped a photo for my husband.
I’m sharing it to show what bed head looks like after 8 hours of being in a coma-like sleep.
Of course John Strachan’s reply to my photo was, “I’m surprised your pinky isn’t up?”
Yes, that’s love.
Stay tuned- today is “spa day”. Unk is in for a surprise when he gets back from physical therapy! I’m doing hair washing, hair cut, shaving, and pedicures!!! Depending on my mood, I may even throw in the Brazilian waxing for free!
11.20.19 Day 9
“Hi-ho to Rehab we go”
We have landed! Unk spent the first night here at the Rehabilitation Center- luckily, he has a nice single room with a bed that he says is way more comfortable than the hospital.
After all of the chaos of the past week, I think I have finally exhaled for the first time. I tried to center myself last night when I got back to Unk’s condo, but that just led to a second glass of wine.
With great trepidation, I have to fly home to Indiana late tonight to get to several meetings that cannot be changed (including a quick drive down to Nashville, TN); I’m getting some high anxiety about leaving.
I’ll be back first thing on Saturday morning, but please reach out to Unk to give your emotional support over the next two days. I’m hoping that the therapists will keep him so busy that he won’t even notice that I’m gone.
11.23.19 Day 12: SATURDAY
“Go-Go Gadget”
I felt terrible that Day 10 and Day 11 were “Rodless” for Unk. I had flown back to Indiana Wednesday night and spent most of Thursday in the office coordinating with my amazingly supportive business partner and awesome team of architects working on several projects. Thursday night I quickly drove down to Nashville,TN for client design meetings. I stayed at the lovely 21c Hotel and slept like a frickin’ rock Thursday night. After an awesome Friday morning meeting, I buzzed right back up to Indy to spend at least a little time with my supportive husband.
Up at 4:00 AM for an early morning flight back to Lauderdale, I was excited to see the progress Unk has made over the past two days while I was gone.
As my plane began descending into Fort Lauderdale, Unk texted that he was going into physical therapy. By the time I got his car out of the parking garage at the airport and made the drive to his rehab center, he was already back in his room. Sitting in a wheelchair at the desk, he was plugging away at his laptop. Well, it looks like genealogy was back in play.
Giggling like school girls, we caught up while on a nice outdoor stroll (me pushing him in his wheelchair). Despite how angry he looks in the photo (squinting into the sun), we enjoyed the breeze on this warm day.
Unk sure knows how to make a perfect to-do list... I happily spent the afternoon shopping for new comfy workout shorts for his therapy sessions. I even got him his handy dandy “Go-Go Gadget” grabber. He won’t have to worry about bending down trying to pick things up off the floor anymore. I just hope it isn’t used for pinching any of the nurses or orderlies’ asses. (Update- apparently I bought him the Mac Daddy of grabbers; staff has warned him to keep an eye on it because it is now the envy of everything).
I’m so happy to be back again helping him on his path to full recovery. I don’t think my parents and sisters questioned anything when I told them I wouldn’t be home for Thanksgiving; they knew I’d be here. John will join us on Wednesday for the holiday weekend.
I’m humbled and honored by the kind words from Unk (and honestly from all of you). This experience has altered my perception of what truly is important in this world. While I know work will always be a driving factor (I love what I do), it was a true revelation when I didn’t even pause to buy the first plane ticket down here. Someone I love needed help, so it was easy to do. I have fully realized that love should always win.
By now you all can see that Unk and I have a bond and a relationship that is quite unique and powerful.
I am him and he is me.
He and I feel it.
The staff of nurses and doctors can feel it (and have commented frequently about it).
Hopefully, those of you following this little “blog” can feel it too.
Our journey continues...
“Does my butt look fat in this hospital gown? Really? You told the world that I have a fat butt? Yeah, I feel the love ... good grief! Actually, that “love fest” part is important to this whole story. From the day that Rod flew to Denver and came out to me, we definitely have had a unique bond. Our lives took their own courses; me in Colorado, Rod in Indianapolis. We did a decent job of keeping in touch though. After my move to Florida, we got a little closer. John completes Rod. I am so very proud of both of them. And, a wee bit jealous; it’s true. Their life together, in this generation, is how I wanted my life to be. That didn’t happen. I found love, but I lost that love. I didn’t believe in myself and still hid behind a mask absorbed in fear and simply not knowing how to live freely. These guys get it.
Their love is real. Their marriage is real. Their goals are outstanding.”
11.24.19 Sunday, Day 13:
“Spa Day”
Dry shampoo can only do so much, and we were way past that point...
Even I have limits, so the nurses give him sponge baths; that doesn’t do anything for his hair.
Today, under the cover of darkness, I snuck Unk into the shower to wash his hair. I think there was still grit in his hair from the accident, so we wrapped him in towels and tipped his head back (while he was seated in his wheelchair) as I used the handheld in the shower to gently wash his hair. Having just stayed at a great boutique hotel, I had the most amazing shampoo and conditioner with me to use. With the tingle of peppermint and smell of cilantro, I think Unk could have fallen asleep.
Just as we were getting him back into his lift chair in the room, a nurse started knocking on the door. With a combined “hang on a second”, we both looked like deer caught in the headlights when we finally let her in (and I was still frantically wiping dripped water off the floor). We were so busted! Oh well, it was worth it since at least his hair was clean.
We then used clippers and trimmed up his hair.
We then tackled his hooves (toenails).
Evidently, I’m going to end up with a hairy back, so we took care of that too.
Once I finished his laundry this afternoon, we even had clean walking socks again!!!
Despite not getting to the full cut and color, Spa Day was awesome. Unk looks fabulous- we are going to do it again!!!
11.25.19 Monday, Day 14:
“Wait, you do what with that?”
Item #1
Item #2
Item #3
It’s so hard to believe it’s been two weeks since Unk had his accident.
Each day he gets stronger and closer to being back home again.
We both were rocking our orange shirts today (very pre-thanksgiving fall colors).
Today’s post is more of a game. He has several things that make his recovery easier.
The first item in particular might baffle most people.
It’s too short to be a jump rope.
It doesn’t fit a neck.
It’s too wide to be for a uterus (although that was the first thing both of us thought of-sorry, our knowledge is very limited).
Give up?
Since Unk is not allowed to bend too much at the pelvis, It helps him put on his socks! Slip a sock over the curved plastic piece, slip in your foot, and then pull it up.
The second object is his handy-dandy grabber. It has become very helpful in many ways:
He can pull up his own shorts now- believe me, that is a godsend (for both of us)!
He can pick up scrambled eggs off the floor (yep, it happened).
He can even drag his walker over to himself.
The third item is this magic chair that raises up when he wants to stand!
Please don’t judge me- we will do anything to entertain ourselves by now! He’s gonna be sick of me by the time this is all over with!!!
11.26.19 Day 15 (Tuesday):
“Contraband” I’m either really good or pure evil.
Unk is on a normal diet for the most part, but they are somewhat restricting sugar from his food. Lately, his sugar levels have been a bit too low.
From almost the beginning, I have been sneaking him in fresh banana bread- which has helped bring his numbers back up. He had baked two loaves on the day of the accident. I took the second loaf out of the freezer on Sunday.
He has been craving chocolate for several days.
Unk has also asked nearly every nurse and doctor for a glass of wine since he woke from surgery. It literally was one of the first things he asked the nurse in recovery.
I therefore snuck in 4 mini candy bars and a small bottle of wine in the fresh laundry I was bringing back in for him. Yes, I’m that family member that hides the file in a cake while visiting you in jail (although Unk hates cake).
As good as I am at sneaking it in, all of this contraband is now located in plain site in the top drawer of his nightstand.
He would never survive in prison.
He is however doing awesome on recovery! He’s doing all of his exercises and more! Just don’t judge him on the wine and candy bars- that’s my influence.
11.27.19, Day 16 (Wednesday)
“I got you babe”
Our dear friend, Chad Secrist, landed in Lauderdale on Saturday night for the week.
Dan and Robert got back yesterday from their cruise!
My hubbie, John Strachan, arrived early this morning!
Chad quickly visited Unk at the rehab center and then he and I were able to go for a quick dinner.
Dan and Robert are gratuitously hosting us for Thanksgiving tomorrow.
With John’s arrival this morning, it is nice to feel my core emotional support here in person.
Sometimes it’s nice to hear someone say, “I got you babe.”
Give thanks for those around you.
11.28.19 Day 17: Thursday, Thanksgiving
“Giving Thanks”
Unk, John, and I are very fortunate to have such amazing and supportive biological families; we are so thankful to know that we have unconditional love and support from all of them.
However, most people don’t realize that as gay men, we are also fortunate to be able to “choose” our extended families as well. We surround ourselves with great friends that become our chosen family.
It’s so great to have family and friends cheering for us from afar and family and friends supporting us here.
Give thanks for...
My supportive husband
My amazingly strong Uncle Tom
Our wonderful families
Our friends
Give thanks for your continued health, happiness, and safety.
I know I am very thankful.
11.28.19 Day 17B:
“The Scene of the CRIME”
Ok, enough of this sappy s#it I’ve been posting over the past couple days. John’s arrival had me all hormonal, but I’m back to being my normal snarky self.
Dan and Robert graciously hosted us for a lovely Thanksgiving meal this afternoon, but my real interest was returning to the scene of the crime.
We all wanted to know the age-old question. “How the hell does someone actually shatter their pelvis while chasing iguanas?”
“Absolutely no alcohol was involved. An abundance of caffeine maybe. Despite my “advanced age”, my memory is still spot on too, unless (apparently) there are pain killers involved. Oh, and John did an excellent job of recreating the final shot of where I landed on the dock. Some details were missed, but it struck a nerve.”
Unk’s “memory” of the initial stumble and then subsequent collision with patio furniture over both deck levels is spotty at best. While I’m still not convinced that alcohol wasn’t involved, I will give him the benefit of the doubt since it was only noon.
John graciously recreated the accident scene (although I had to filter most of the photos since John demonstrated some very interesting vodka-induced possible body contortions). Ultimately, we were thankful to know that Unk’s collision with the glider did prevent a complete water landing.
Despite his likely drinking, I still blame the iguanas.
Most important, our Thanksgiving dinner was absolutely amazing and Unk’s plate arrived still hot to the rehabilitation center.
Unk is now a member of the clean plate club.
John’s asleep on Unk’s bed.
I’ve had just enough wine to be dangerous.
Given the situation we are in with all of this event, I would say it’s been a perfect Thanksgiving.
11.29.19 Day 18 Black Friday
“Shock Therapy”
Today started with a bit of shock therapy for all of us. Unk will be discharged from the rehabilitation center on Tuesday, December 3rd.
Yep, you read that correctly. NEXT TUESDAY! We were both excited and terrified at the same time. This was already the day we visit the surgeon’s office and have the 66 staples removed, but now he’ll be transferring home immediately after the appointment.
His team of physical therapists apparently think he has progressed enough to move back to the condo and continue his recovery with home therapy. I feel bad for the poor social services director that had come in to our room this morning to give us the news; she was immediately inundated with questions and concerns from Unk, John, and me.
We accompanied Unk to physical therapy this morning to observe how he will be able to do some basic things around the condo by himself. He’s doing well with transferring in and out of bed and using his walker, but he still can’t bend more than 90 degrees. This limited mobility prevents him from putting on his walking boot (or washing anything below the knee).
Speaking of washing asses, he also had another bandage change. He has one red area at the bottom of incision that we’ve got our eye on (except for John- he went running from the room as soon as Unk dropped his shorts). It’s actually quite funny to me because most of the nurses now know that my camera comes out as soon as Unk exposes his ass. I wish I could say this was a new phenomenon, but I have blackmail photos going back a couple decades... unfortunately, he probably has more dirt on me than I do on him.
To calm us down a bit from our initial shock, we decided to have another spa day. I gave Unk a new haircut. Due to all of the hair on the floor, Unk commented that it looked like I had sheered a dog.
Speaking of dogs, this entire experience has taught us both that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Here’s to turning tricks... wait, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.
We also put up Unk’s Christmas tree last night, so the timing was perfect for him to go home.
11.30.19 Day 19 Saturday
“Hip Hip Hooray and the Heavy Heart”
Today’s a rough one for me. I go home today.
I’m having a very hard time leaving Unk after nineteen days of being his advocate and support system. I’ll continue that role, but it will have to be from afar.
Throughout this unplanned adventure, Unk and I have hopefully revealed to you a special bond that is amazingly unique. This “iguana-induced traumatic event of the shattered pelvis” has altered my perception of what is really important in my life- I’ve never once questioned what I found to be an easy decision to drop everything and be here. I would hope that each and every one of you reading this would do the same for any person you love.
I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, but this journey has been pretty raw for all of us involved. I won’t lie, this really has been an ordeal and at this point I truly am running on fumes.
I am hoping that through my documentation of this journey, you have seen me with all of my flaws and all of my strengths.
Even more important about showing you our “story”, I hope you all can really see my Unk. He is a beautiful soul that shines way brighter than anything I could ever hope to achieve, but he had to face some fears and realities that no one likes to confront. I feel that Unk has evolved even more than I have through this experience. The best part is that he didn’t do it alone. Hopefully, he now also knows that he will never be alone.
Unk’s road to recovery is still going to be an ongoing process; don’t worry, I’ll continue my colorful commentary.
I might be crying as I depart today, but we will be laughing again tomorrow. After all, with a Kardashian ass covered in a giant iguana tattoo, how can you keep a straight face.
Please realize that if you can’t laugh along the way, then the journey isn’t worth it.
12.3.19 Day 22: Tuesday
“The attack of the Staple Remover”
He’s free.
Free of staples. Free of rehab.
After just 3 weeks, Unk has had his latest doctor appointment, escaped rehabilitation, and is home at his condo!
We knew this was coming, but it got here way faster than I expected. He started his day by packing up all of his “stuff”- apparently, I took too many personal items when we moved him into the center, but in my defense I didn’t know what to expect. The steamer trunk full of outfits may have been a bit of overkill, but I wasn’t sure what kind of social events they have every day. You never know when you need a tuxedo.
“Let me make something perfectly clear. It is true that I seldom wear underwear. For me, it is a Colorado thing, and a sense of confinement. However, I do wear underwear when I travel, go to the doctor, get dressed up (yes, that’s a joke :o), and would have had underwear on the day of the fall had I known that I would end up in ER. Those people cut my most favorite shorts off in the pre-op room. I told them there was nothing on under them.”
When I left on Saturday, I did drag most of the excess costuming and all of the underwear (unfortunately, I now know clearly that he doesn’t wear any) back to the condo. Today, he should only have a few items left to take home- my only hope is that he actually drank the mini bottle of wine and ate the candy bars that I snuck into his room!
The center transported Unk to see his surgeon at the hospital. Although I was here in Indianapolis, I was able to attend the meeting via FaceTime through Unk’s phone. He was “2 Percocet in” at that point, so one of us needed to pay attention! (Actually, I will say that Unk has been amazing at not taking any pain pills for the past week, but all of today’s activities really called for a little bit of numbing.) Dr. Perez removed all of the 66 staples- it’s not pretty! Doc also explained that he also thought that Unk’s damaged hip appeared to be arthritic (just that right side). He also had a concern about possible blood clots in his leg (causing some swelling in Unk’s foot), so it was back to the same emergency room for another scan. 3 weeks later, he sent me another selfie in the same place this all started. Luckily, in the end, there were no clots.
We did learn that it will now be 3 months before he can put any weight on his right hip. While it is longer than the 2 months they originally told us., that’s ok because it may take that long to complete the iguana tattoo.
Finished at the hospital, the now unstapled Unk made his way back to rehab (I don’t know why I chuckle every time I say “Unk’s in rehab”). In fact, “Unk’s finally in rehab” might end up being the title of my second novel; right after “How my Uncle Tom taught me not to chase iguanas” becomes a bestseller, I think I’ll have to follow up with the juicy stories of all of that dirt he and I have on each other. It’s going to be so good!!!
All kidding aside, I am so thankful that it appears Dan and Robert have finally got him back to the condo safe and sound. He sent a photo of himself sitting in front of the Christmas tree (the one that John and I put up and decorated last Thursday)- when I asked him whether the job met with his satisfaction, I got the perfect response- “meh, it’ll do.”
Yep, Unk is back.
He’s back home.
He’s back in control of his space on his own schedule.
He’s back, and I’m so proud of him.
Finally- Yes, that’s me and a box of wine tonight. I’m finally celebrating Unk’s happy return home. Thanks to Greg Eaton for pushing me to relax tonight by ordering in pizza and drinking wine; it was totally what I needed too.
Love you Unk! I’ll be back on the 12th to continue your torture- oops, I mean “therapy”.
“I live alone, I do not have a significant other, and since moving to Florida I have not spent much time trying to culture new friendships. I really like being alone. In fact, as a genealogy researcher, I often say “dead people don’t talk back” and “once I find the one’s I’m looking for, they are filed away into the family tree and cannot leave me”. So faced with the reality of needing to rely on other people to help me has been a significant stress on me.
Dan and Robert have made it clear since the beginning that if I need something, they are there. Very true. I don’t like to ask, and I don’t like eating into their schedules to spend time with me.
And Rod, OMG, I hope everyone understands the sacrifice, the determination, the take charge characteristics, the love.
”Amazing” is such a small word.”
12.12.19-Day 31, Thursday
“Forever in just 31 days”
Wow, it’s been 31 days. I am having a very hard time believing it has now been a month since Unk fell and shattered his pelvis.
Here I am halfway through another nonstop flight to Florida, and I find myself perplexed that I just realized it’s only been a month. Time has moved differently at all stages of this “event”. There were minutes that felt like days and days that felt like seconds. Looking back, It’s odd to me that in a single day I would often experience both extremes. I often held my breathe to get through most of it.
In those moments where I’d be waiting to exhale, I’d often see clarity.
I would see purpose.
The things I previously found myself obsessed with somehow became trivial- in addition to the 10+ pounds I lost during this past month, I do know that I also lost part of myself.
I’m not sad about that. I’m actually quite happy. I lost the part that didn’t matter.
Looking back, I quickly hopped that first flight a month ago because I perceived that Unk was alone. I thought he needed me because his circle of friends had grown smaller and smaller in the last 14 years since he had moved to Florida; I had often worried about his isolation, but I didn’t voice that concern.
Unk and I have had some very candid “come to Jesus” conversations in the past 31 days. I stupidly thought I was doing all of this for him. What I found instead was that he was giving me even more-yet again, he made it a teachable moment.
“That last paragraph is so very true. I am alone because I want to be. It is a wall protecting me from what might hurt me. We unfortunately must deal with a truly hateful world, filled with people who will not see you for who you are, will not respect you, will do everything in their power to take advantage, and have some crazy notion that their needs override the laws which have shaped our country. I am very disappointed in my fellow mankind. Even when I encounter a decent, honest, caring individual, I catch myself holding back out of fear of what they might do to me. Hard to open my eyes and heart to the truly good people.”
I’ve already told you that Unk and I both are very much the same person; what I didn’t see before was that we both would often isolate ourselves from so many things around us to prevent any possibility of something or someone hurting us. That revelation that isolating ourselves wasn’t healthy has now allowed the very thick walls I built around my inner core to crack. Every single day of this past month I have felt those massive walls crumble even more.
Part of me feels raw and exposed through this process. A much bigger part of me feels reignited. Despite the exhaustion, insomnia, and missed work, I now feel a glow from within that hasn’t shined in a very long time. There is fire. When I look in the mirror, I see it.
Despite what my best friend says, it’s not a mid-life crisis.
So here I am, several paragraphs (and only one glass of wine) into this latest tale and I haven’t even taken the time to tell you all about the amazing progress Unk has experienced in the past week. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.
Instead, I’m telling you how his shattered pelvis ended up breaking down my walls.
Unk and Rod- a few centuries ago
“What Rodney said here is very heartwarming, and very true. When I left Denver after being surplused by the telephone company, and before that, after a 12-year breakup with my significant other, I was pretty much ready to ditch all of my heartbreak and go to the beach. I just didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Nearly everyone in my life had left me sitting on the floor crying, and that just isn’t good for anyone. I tried, with only a little success, to make new friends. Hard to do when you don’t really trust anyone. Turned out that the main friends I did make were actually from Denver.”
12.13.19 Day 32, Freaky Friday
“Not the ‘BJ’ I was expecting”
Unk and I had a very productive day.
Although he’s getting around much better than I expected after just one month of recovery, I wasn’t sure just how easy it would be to get him in and out of his new car. While he easily slid right into the passenger seat, I had to spit on the tip of the wheelchair to get it into the backseat.
We started the day off with a trip to the bank. Now that he gave me access to his account, the really expensive iguana tattoo is definitely on!
We then went grocery shopping to stock up the fridge/freezer again! It’s not easy pushing a wheelchair and a shopping cart at the same time, so I decided it would be easier to just leave him in the car.
Don’t worry, I cracked the windows and it was only 78°!
I’m totally kidding, He escaped the car and rolled into the store with me. Unk wheeled himself around while I followed closely behind with the cart. At one point Unk did get an interesting offer for a “drag race” with another man who was riding in a motorized shopping cart, but he declined (I think that older gentleman was just flirting with Unk).
A quick trip back to the condo to get the perishables into the fridge was swiftly followed by a lovely late lunch at Rosie’s in Wilton Manor. Unk got the ‘Ivana Hooker’ burger and I got the ‘Rhoda Cowboy’ burger- yes, all of the sandwiches were named after drag queens. We both were stuffed by the time we left the restaurant.
Unk then said we were going to BJs… …Well, ok?!
I told him that I was totally in since he hadn’t killed me yet.
When we pulled up in front of the wholesale club called “BJs”, and then it all made more sense. Think of it as a poorly named Sams Club- it’s over-sized portions with low prices.
I think he is now stocked for the next month.
We were so full from our lunchtime hooker and cowboy that we decided dinner would just consist of sampling from the 14 pounds of cheese and cured meats we got at BJs.
Oh yeah, there was wine too. Don’t worry, the wine was only $4.99; it can’t have too much alcohol in it, right? After the second bottle, it’s basically like drinking water.
Tomorrow is going to be purging and cleaning- since Unk has decided to take the condo off the market, we now have to unpack all of those moving boxes too!
He is doing so well! He’s definitely hurting a bit from all of our adventures today, but each day gets easier.
12.14.19 Day 33, Saturday
“Unk’s balls”
Even before the first cup of coffee had been finished, we thought we would just put a few things away.
We didn’t realize it at the time, but Unk and I would end up removing every single item from his kitchen cabinets today.
Cleaned.
Organized.
Within reach.
That should be a goal for all of us.
We then packed up the car for a leisurely drive along the ocean- the beach was gorgeous. However, we quickly surmised that wheelchairs and sand don’t mix, so we decided a late lunch at Joe’s Diner with a “pop in” at the adjacent wine store would be better. Trust me, I was really good at maneuvering a wheelchair through crowded aisles- I found 3 amazing bottles that I have a hard time finding in Indiana. Once I turned the car around after I realized that I accidentally left Unk sitting in front of the liquor store (hey, I had my wine), we thought it was best to get back to the condo...
Back to work.
We fixed the toilet seat and toilet grab bars in his bathroom- like my uncle, they were very loose (his friend Robert couldn’t tighten them no matter what he did). Unk stated that I was exactly like my father just because I “randomly” decided to shave some plastic off of all of the grab bar latches to get his new grab bars to work; I will say that I wear my “J. T. Collier craftsman badge” very proudly. In my head all I heard was my dad saying “the latches aren’t working because they had too much plastic”- my dad would just shave it off with a blade, so that’s what I did! Ta Da! It now works (and “no one will ever see it from Old Road 30”). I also fixed the wonky shower curtain rod that kept falling and added a handheld shower in the guest bath- hey, that’s for me since I’ve been here on and off for 22 of the last 33 days.
Unk made the most amazing pizza tonight while we waited for the boat parade to begin. While the pizza cooked, we also unboxed several moving boxes- it’s almost clear of boxes and he’s home again.
The boat parade in Fort Lauderdale is huge. Luckily, we watched it all from Unk’s balcony overlooking the intercostal waterway. Like my belly, the moon was full.
At this point, I’ll be candid (mom, please stop reading)- As many of you know through the dramatic storytelling in my posts, I’ve seen far more of my Unk’s ass and balls in the last month than I ever needed to - but... (or should I say butt)...when you’re in the role of a advocate, you do whatever you need to do for someone you love. Well, tonight I thought you should see his balls too.
Brace yourself...
and enjoy...
tonight his walker got balls too. Lol.
12.15.19 Day 34, Sunday
“Yes, I do windows too”
Another quick trip down to Florida unfortunately comes to a close way too quickly. As I’m sitting in the Fort Lauderdale airport preparing to board my plane back to Indy, I feel so much better about leaving Unk this time. I’m not worried anymore.
He’s doing really, REALLY well.
His mobility with the wheelchair and walker is amazingly good-he rarely bangs into anything. We got so much done this weekend! In addition to all of the grocery shopping, we were able to get the moving boxes emptied and put away, the laundry done, his kitchen reorganized, and I even got around to washing the windows (so his view is clear again). We even scrubbed the balcony floor (although I was told that I use too much water). His smart plugs now work, so he can ask Alexa to turn on the Christmas tree lights or even his bedroom lamps with just his voice.
While putting away his books, we found his copy of his favorite book as a child- “The Velvet Room”. Who wouldn’t love a story about a little girl that sneaks into deserted haunted house with a velvet room?
“OK, I have to speak in my own defense. If you grew up in a very poor, mal-adjusted family where you had next to nothing except for the love between siblings, you might comprehend the fascination of “The Velvet Room”. It was an escape from the reality of that little girl’s world. I related. I actually went back and read it again after Rod found it.
50 years ago or today? It still speaks to me.”
I also found a couple photo albums- always so much fun seeing photos of your family!
I gave Unk a mini pedicure today too. Only one little toe was bleeding when I finished, so I personally think I’m getting better. He is hopeful that he might survive all of this with all eleven of his toes still fully intact- my entire point is that he has one extra, so it’ll be ok if we “accidentally lose one” along the way.
We took an update photo of the hip incision in preparation for his iguana tattoo- it’s healing really well and I think he won’t have too nasty of a scar. Covering it with a tattoo of the spiky back of the iguana should hide it all. I won’t even show you the frightening photos of his other two wounds on his legs- the gash in his leg and hole where the halo pins went through his thigh are nasty; yes, they’re clean and sterile, but the scabs look like they’re alive. Both of us were grossed out.
If all goes as planned (not that any of this ordeal has ever had a plan), he will be allowed to start putting pressure back on his hip by mid-February. Unk voiced his understanding of that date as “I’ll be walking and driving” by that time. I just chuckle and say, “ sure- just keep believing that!” He didn’t seem to hear the “it’ll be 6 months before you’re back to walking and driving.”
It appears that I won’t be needed back in Lauderdale until early in January (for a 2nd visit with the surgeon), so I would ask that all of you please please please send Unk some love through the holidays.
1.4.20 Day 54 Saturday
“It’s not a chore”
What’s the difference between a chore and an errand?
My husband and I have been discussing the different meanings behind the two words; as I depart once again from Indy to head back down for a quick visit with Unk (don’t worry, I’ll give the Unk Update-“Unkdate” in a second post once I get there), I’m excited to be able to tackle his next list of “chores” before we meet with the surgeon on Tuesday.
I had assumed the list of chores would be minimal during this visit since John was able to make a quick trip over from his family in Fort Myers to visit Unk on December 26th and 27th.
Apparently not.
Unk informed with me on New Years Eve that he let John run “errands”, but didn’t want him to tackle my “chores”.
Wait, What?
John gets errands and I get chores?
Has this all been a chore? John seems to think there are only some things that a family member can be trusted to do.
Now before my Aunt Sue gets her knickers in a twist, I’ll just come right out and say that none of the past 54 days of chaos with Unk has been a chore. Oh, believe me, this has been a roller coaster ride, but never a chore.
We all have our crosses to bear, but the good news is that I may have finally knocked Unk off his cross. As naturally dramatic martyrs, both he and I had joked for years that his cross will always be way bigger than mine and I would never catch up to him. Honey, please- I think I just took the lead and knocked his scarred (and soon to be tattooed) ass down a peg or two. Of course I hope I didn’t break his other hip in his fall from grace. (I can actually see John rolling his eyes and dramatically holding his arms straight out.)
Oh, now I get it. Yes, living with me is a chore.
Unk, I’ll see you in a couple hours (and I’m sure after reading this you will have added a few more items to my list)...
“Apparently, John doesn’t clearly understand that like it or not, he is a member of this family. Next time you visit, it’s chores baby! Lots of chores. Hugs too. Rod, I’ll let you think you have knocked me off of the martyrdom cross, but like your age, you have close to 20 years less experience than do I. I’ll be clinging to my title until you pry it from my brittle, cold hands. Just know you’ve had the perfect teacher. ”
“Looking at April or May at the earliest opportunity to walk and drive again ....
While I am disappointed to hear this news, I suspected the prognosis going in to today’s appointment with the surgeon. Gotta do what has to be done. They took new xrays today.
Healing is happening, and to brighten my spirits the surgeon did say that I can begin putting 50 pounds of pressure on my leg now, and he will re-evaluate at the next appointment on February 18th.
It has been 8 weeks since the surgery. He also talked about arthritis in my hip and the possibility of future hip replacement. I did frown at him over the comment 😡. He ordered an MRI for my knee. I’ll be scheduling that tomorrow. He also wrote a prescription for a temporary tag for disabled parking that will be used by whomever I get to haul me around. He wrote a new pain prescription, an order for physical therapy to resume, and told us to go to Walgreens and get a knee brace.
I pretty much left the appointment feeling a bit blue, but knowing the next steps. Rodney is winging his way back to Indianapolis this evening, so I have to get my martyr cross all set up in the next hour. 😇 He continues to take excellent care of me. Sorry to see him go again, but he has been amazing this visit just as he has been since my surgery. The chore list for this visit was quite long and he cheerfully completed every single task. Bless his heart ❤️
I’ll manage somehow ... sigh. 😔 Yes, I will indeed.”
The first chore was to get rid of that Christmas Tree…
1.5.20 Day 55, Sunday
“Doing his part for the war effort”
Although the list of chores is very daunting, I feel like I’m ripping right through them:
•The Christmas Tree is gone.
•Floors are vacuumed and prepped for me to steam them before the new chairs arrive tomorrow.
•Balcony holiday lights were removed- (I’ve since installed new white globe balcony lights for year-round entertaining).
•Connected all of the living room lamps to smart plugs so Alexa can turn them on and off for Unk.
•Rewired a wall sconce.
•Planted a new succulent for the balcony.
•Haircut- done.
•Pedicure, yep, those hooves are clipped.
At one point, I got tired of Unk getting underfoot while I’m tackling all the “chores” around here; I convinced him he had to iron kitchen towels to help support the war effort.
Wow, really? Ironing towels was that easy?
I guess I need harder tasks (which somehow are not chores or errands) the next time.
Speaking of “errands”, we had time this morning for some of those too. Grocery shopping is done... ...and we picked up a couple more bottles of wine to get us through this evening.
As a treat for getting so much done, we went to happy hour at George’s Alibi in Wilton Manor. I snapped an amazing photo showing just how much weight Unk has lost this year. Other than him pointing out that he needs a new man bra, he’s looking amazing! No, seriously, I think his boobs have gotten bigger! It’s the opposite of his shrinking Kardashian ass which is pretty much gone- those “pecs” are staying the same while the rest of him is shrinking? His friends “curtain ass” and “pruny” would be so proud (FYI: that’s a really old reference to my nicknames from one of the first trips I took to Fort Lauderdale with Unk 20 years ago when I nicknamed him “big tits” and added the aforementioned monikers for his friends.) We can’t remember what my nickname was for that trip, but that’s not surprising since I was somehow able to get the bartender at a leather bar called the Ramrod to give everyone sitting at the bar a free drink- oh, to be in my mid-20s again. I wasn’t even wearing leather!
“Well, well, well. First it was a fat ass ... now it’s big boobs. Wills can be changed, you know. ”
When we got back to the condo, I shot a short timelapse video showing just how well Unk is getting around- granted, that video really was about 14 minutes long compressed into a second, but it proves at least he’s moving! Seriously, he is getting around really well.
One more day down. He’s getting there.
Personally, I think all of us need to do whatever we need to do to get to where we need to be (which may or may not involve a younger version of yourself being taunted by “Rusty the bartender” to drop your shorts and walk around the bar to get everyone sitting at the bar free drinks). Looking back, I didn’t even make eye contact with Unk as my shorts hit the floor.
Really? Don’t judge. It’s free drinks for at least a dozen people! No one complains when you get them a free drink (and just so you know, I had worn underwear that day!).
Seriously though, I’m so proud of how well Unk is doing.
Or perhaps I’m proud of how even a bartenders’ glimpse of my “twentyish year-old ass” could get an entire bar free drinks). [Actually that same “glimpse” on a first date got me my husband too.]
Damn, I wish I still had that ass. It really was Kardashian...
1.7.2020 Day 57, Tuesday
“He’s worn out another pair of balls”
As I prepare to hop back on my broomstick to head back to Indianapolis, I’m feeling really great about where Unk currently is in his recovery.
Yes, it’s slower than he wanted, but he is also taking the necessary time to make sure he doesn’t do any more damage to his pelvis.
Yesterday he intentionally set off the smoke alarms to get me out of bed early. He made an amazing breakfast, but I think it was to butter me up for all of errands he had planned for me- we got a lot done again and I feel that he is all set with voice commanding Alexa to do his bidding around the house in my absence.
We also replaced his balls. He had worn right through the bottom of the tennis balls in just a few weeks. That’s a great indication of just how much he is getting around. For this new pair of balls, we upgraded to neon orange instead of the standard yellow/green. His walker also got a new set of sporty handles to dress it up a bit more. I’d add flames, but Unk is already flaming most of the time.
Although he didn’t wake me up with a smoke alarm again this morning, I did get right to work on steaming and cleaning the floors. I’m going to have to get one of those steamers for our house in Indy!
Finally, we went to the followup with his surgeon, Dr. Perez. He didn’t want to hear it, but it’s still going to be at least a few months before he can walk without a walker. That also means no driving during that time period. He is now allowed to start putting 50 pounds of pressure on the right hip, so that’s great progress!!!
We finished up our afternoon tasks just in time for me to grab another Uber to the airport.
My broom is preparing to depart, so I’ll sign off with, “ I love you, Unk- it’s going to keep getting better.” See you again before you know it!
“Hello everyone !!! I’m still kicking ... well not literally yet, but getting better every day. I saw my Surgeon yesterday for xrays and evaluation at week 14 since my trip and fall. Rodney told me this morning that today is day 100. I think the last update had me walking and driving again at week 26 if all went as planned.
Dr Perez told us that he is releasing me to begin working with physical therapy to get to a cane instead of the walker and wheelchair, and to continue the focus on my right leg to get back behind the wheel. Zoom, zoom! He says the bones have healed nicely, and despite an eventual need for hip replacement as a result of arthritis, I’m on the way to full recovery. I came home very pleased!
My “at home” physical therapist, Kellie, has been instrumental in getting me to this point and I’m going to miss her. She was tough on me and didn’t put up with my nonsense. We bonded very well. Next phase of therapy becomes “outpatient” therapy at a rehab facility. I meet with the therapy manager tomorrow to talk about facilities and coverage from insurance. I become Medicare eligible on March 1st, so I have that to think about as well.
This journey has been very difficult, a huge challenge, and most definitely a learning (or should I say lessons learned) experience. What can I say? DO NOT CHASE IGUANAS - EVER! Those critters are not worth it!
Rodney has been here for a few days giving me grief and encouragement like he does so well. He will be posting an update with photos soon. His work list/chore list/errand list is nearly complete (he’s doing laundry now) for this trip before he wings his way back to Indy. Can’t imagine how this adventure would have gone without him taking charge and protecting me. Gotta love him 🥰.
My next appointment is on March 31st, and I’ll give you another update then.
Cheers!”
DAY 100
2.19.20 Day 100
“100 reasons why”
It will never get easy to say goodbye to Unk, so I’m once again bustling around the condo wrapping up my chores to keep me distracted before I depart Fort Lauderdale.
It’s been 100 days since his little game of “chasing iguanas” led him down a winding path of a shattered pelvis.
In what seems like a blink of an eye- I’ve had hundreds of chores, I’ve run hundreds of errands, I’ve met hundreds of medical personnel, and yes, I’ve cried hundreds of times. I probably should also mention that I might have gone through a 100 glasses of wine since the iguana incident. Actually, looking back, it is far more likely to be 100 bottles.
He is now 100 days into his recovery, and I’ve seen an amazing transformation. Not only a transformation of him, but of me as well.
100 days ago, I couldn’t seem to get here fast enough. Through all of my many, many, many, many (did I say many?) visits to Fort Lauderdale, I have experienced amazing doctors, nurses, and a support network that I did not know existed.
I have also grown to understand the strengths and weaknesses of our health system on a whole new level.
I also am so much closer to Unk than I have ever been before. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve always been close! We just were never on this level.
I hopped a super early flight down here again last Sunday in preparation for a followup with his surgeon, Dr. Perez, on Tuesday. Sunday was packed with a standard routine of cleaning, grocery shopping, errands, etc. We finished off the evening with dinner with Robert and Dan at IL Mulino. Completely exhausted from being up at 3:30am, we made it back at the condo; I vaguely remember there being a bottle of wine.
Monday morning started at the dentist office- coincidentally, his dentist also happens to be named Dr. Perez. That visit was followed by a trip to the electronics store, BJs Wholesale Club, and Unk fixing dinner (and another bottle of wine). I had to do some work as well, so I think I finally went to sleep around 2:30am.
Tuesday morning began way too early... but at least we were at my favorite French bakery here in Lauderdale! Rendez-Vous is awesome. We were somehow running low on wine already, so we made a quick trip to our favorite store,Total Wine, before the doctor appointment; Unk was smarter this time and refused to let go of the wine after I made our purchase. Unlike our last visit, I didn’t leave him at the store.
Dr. Perez shared several tidbits of great news and information. Unk will begin working to move from the walker to a cane. He will begin working in physical therapy toward driving. He even shared the X-rays of Unk’s pelvis (filled with metal).
We moved on to our afternoon chores (the usual of trimming his hooves, grinding down his horns, cleaning his windows). We then went out to dinner to celebrate his progress!
Back at the condo after a delicious meal (and another bottle of wine later), I had more work to do. Luckily this time I was finished with my project update by midnight.
Today has flown by- perhaps it’s preparation for my flight, but more likely due to running around doing the laundry, bathroom cleaning, packing, and a quick lunch at Rosie’s in Wilton Manor (where the bottles of wine were half price, but somehow we did not imbibe).
I always hate to leave Unk, but I’m also excited to see his progress before I return again. My wish over the next 6 weeks is for him to progress enough in physical therapy to be able to pick me up at the airport; that and a wish that he would get a fu€king maid, so I’d actually be able to enjoy the warm weather for once instead of all of these damn chores. Kidding! I’m happy to help- and my martyr cross is way bigger than his now.
Don’t worry, I think he has enough wine for now and I’ll be back again very soon.
Don’t worry. The story doesn’t end here by any means.
Unk is now driving- stay off the roads in Fort Lauderdale for the next few months.
Unk continues with his physical therapy [now outpatient].
Unk continues to improve his mobility- he’s even walking with a cane.